Written by Jeff Schoener
It has often been said that life is but a series of individual moments strung together. When one experiences each moment fully with all of our senses, this is commonly known as living in the ‘Now’, or present time. When we look upon them fondly, we call them memories. When we look upon them as a matter of fact they are history. When an individual relives a specific moment over again, they fall victims of that moment. What causes individuals to become victims of a moment?
Trauma of some sort allows one moment to be somehow, grander than another. Shock, surprise, confusion and negative disappointments all aid in allowing the individuals to dwell. When one is consumed with a particular moment, they feel that they must recreate it in order to fully understand or process that moment. It came upon them suddenly and they felt as if they had no resources but to become a victim. We all go through that. Not everyone has to relive that moment. Notice too, the secondary gains that come from this reliving. Sometimes there is a sense of comfort in replaying it within our minds, attempting to figure it out in hopes of releasing it. Other times there is an aspect of recreating it, almost as a stage play in order to gain perspective, or even the sympathy of others. Either way, they take on something that does not have to become their own. What about those who are too close to see, or too far from the issues? I have often asked of others do define what they want. All too often they define what they don’t want. (See ‘Maintain Your Brain™: What Keeps You Stuck?’ issue July 2007.) What about those who are so intimately involved in a situation where they have little or no personal time to consider a difference? I speak now of the people who are incarcerated, be they “guests” of the city, the state or prisoners within their own personal situation.
Just as there is amazing beauty in this world, there is also a tremendous amount of ugliness. It is easy to overlook the indifference, the neglect and the abuse. Those who are victims of the latter are in the most difficult place of all. They may feel and fear for their personal safety, as well as the safety of their loved ones. They are between a rock and a hard place. As for the rest of us, we are held unnecessarily as prisoners of a specific moment. Even we may gain perspective. Perspective – Close, Distant, Above, Beneath
Either way, it is our perspective to the issues(s). Consider those times when you heard stories of a friend or family member whom you are not so close to. We may easily realize the actual issues and are often frustrated in the fact that the individuals involved do not recognize the situation as crystal as you may and they may even say, “You don’t understand.”, or “Until you are in my situation, you will never know!” All because they are too close to the situation.
Situational awareness—this is why folks who are intuitive and outsiders may predict quite accurately. At the same time, the same individuals have difficulty in the consideration of their own life’s choices and what they deem important matters. We are told by others to rise above it, or put it behind you. Set that aside, we are speaking in terms of relationship. The perspective that we have on an issue within a moment may be changed within an instant. If your relative position is center, any issue or moment may be above you, beneath you, in front of you, beside you and behind you. The information you perceive is either too close to you, or too distant from you. Each position mentioned illustrates exactly where you store this specific information. What if you could take something that is too close and move it to your distant future? Would this issue feel the same to you? Would it have the same immediacy? Would it hold the same intensity? Take something you perceive as above you and for a moment place it behind you. Does it seem so lofty now? Take something that is beneath you and put it in front of you. Does it still seem as it did before?
The point of this, as we handle everything as something to be learned, in every situation, we do not have to label the moments, we do not have to be victims of them, we simply have to perceive them differently. With this new perspective, we may act more fully and in the moment. All Rights Reserved 2008.